posted by: Iggy on Nov 4, 2006 at 1:12am
 User Level:
Drunk Orgasm Machine
| Have you ever? | have you ever considered cheating on your so? if so, why? what would you consider cheating? would it mean that you actually slept with someone other than your so or would you consider it cheating if you just thought about it?
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posted by: MT_Lightning on Nov 4, 2006 at 10:10am
 User Level:
Plowed Scrivener
| Have you ever? | I’m the loyal type. Have never, will never.
As far as what I consider cheating, any inappropriate physical contact that you would not normally have with a friend not to your sexual liking (i.e. what a heterosexual man would not normally do with another heterosexual man)
Thoughts are not cheating. Only actions. We all have our fantasies
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posted by: vodka_buzz on Nov 4, 2006 at 2:08pm
 User Level:
eloquent boozehound
| Have you ever? | Yes I have. I love and respect my SO immensely and would never want to see her hurt. I have no biological kids, but have stepkids so I dont understand the real love that a parent has for their child, but I do believe that a human has the capacity to love more than 1 person at atime. And love defined as a deep emotianal attachment and sincere concern for the other person and a sharing of common experiences and feelings. In our society, this type of love outside of traditional family borders is frowned up, but happens countless thousands of time because humans can love more than 1 person. Others cheat because humans are sneaky and take pleasure in ’getting away with something’. we all do - it is a human frailty.
This is a very deep subject and as a student of sociology and psycology, it interests me alot. I could bore the shit out of you with all of my thoughts and observations on the subject. An interesting site to lurk in on is www.survivinginfidelity.com.
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posted by: eagle01 on Nov 4, 2006 at 5:33pm
User Level:
Drunk Orgasm Machine
| Have you ever? | Love to look at other women, but would never cheat. It would never be worth it to ruin what we have together. | |
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posted by: Grannit on Nov 10, 2006 at 12:16pm
 User Level:
Bad Ass Drunk
| Have you ever? | Cheating, for me, is doing anything with another person that my partner would not be ok with. And no, I would no do it. If there was something I wanted to do then I would negotiate it with my partner first (the person - or in my case persons - I have made a committment to)
There was a time in my life where I ended up cheating. I realised just how much I hurt myself and the person I loved and will not be repeating it, thanks. | |
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posted by: bman87 on Nov 10, 2006 at 8:30pm
 User Level:
verbose vagabond
| Have you ever? | I have always considered myself a loyal and committed, and never in a million year would I ever cheat on my gf. I have been having a long distance relationship with her for almost six years now, while I’ve been at school and never once thought about cheating. However, just about a month ago I was assigned a project with a girl in my class and we got very friendly and two weeks ago I cheated on my gf. I cant tell you it was for any reason other than the fact that I was an idiot. Its killing me. I cant sleep and get sick everytime i think about what i did and how much it would hurt her if she found out. I’m aslo not telling her because I am being selfish because I do not want to lose her. | |
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posted by: thegirldf on Nov 12, 2006 at 4:58pm
User Level:
Drunk Orgasm Machine
| Have you ever? | | Yeah.....weird how things can change when there’s an opportunity... | |
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posted by: hiccup on Nov 12, 2006 at 5:38pm
 User Level:
Hammered Discourse Powerhouse
| Have you ever? | never have never will | |
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posted by: unholypond on Nov 12, 2006 at 9:53pm
User Level:
eloquent boozehound
| Have you ever? | thought about it but i have no one to do it with not the will to hurt my SO at all. lol i have the firm rules for look no touch. to technically if she strips for me. but i don’t think i could handle the guilt i would tell her the next week and never do it again. so i figure i just won’t do it the first time | |
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posted by: Grannit on Nov 13, 2006 at 6:52am
User Level:
Bad Ass Drunk
| Have you ever? | | The guilt of not telling her would be more than I could bear. I would want her to know the person I am, so would tell her that I had done something stupid, and then we would deal with it together. I could not lie to a person I gave my whole heart to and concealing a truth so big would be lying, for me. | |
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posted by: thegirldf on Nov 13, 2006 at 7:36am
User Level:
Drunk Orgasm Machine
| Have you ever? | It would be hard to live a lie like that. Cheating and then not telling them would be like living a li. They think you’re faithful and that nothing is wrong. Good luck Bman on your situation.
I’ve had fleeting moments where I was nervous I would if the opportunity presented itself. There have been two points in my relationship with my boyfriend where things have been ridiculously shaky- to the point where I thought I would have to end it- and both times there was a lingering guy. Luckily, when it came down to it, I was able to resist because I knew I was only tempted because we were having a tough time. I think that is one of the cheating scenarios- when the relationship is bad. | |
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posted by: Grannit on Nov 13, 2006 at 7:56am
User Level:
Bad Ass Drunk
| Have you ever? | Fuz, keeping that coolheadedness isn’t easy. Congratulations! For me, when I have felt myself that strongly attracted to another, I have gone through some self-examination to find out if my "main" relationship is strong. Sometimes it wasn’t, and this was my "wake-up" call that we either needed to work on that relationship or end it.
For some, being attracted to another automatically means there is somehting up with their main relationship - for me there is another, more confusing, possibility.... | |
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posted by: bman87 on Nov 13, 2006 at 9:26am
User Level:
verbose vagabond
| Have you ever? | I really have no idea what to do. I know that if I do tell her it will be the end of us and that is the last thing I want to happen. I never thought that I would be in this situation and now that I am I have no idea how to handle it. I havent seen my gf since this happened but I know that I’m not going to be able to even look at her when I do see her. She senses something is wrong when I talk to her but I am able to convince her that it is just all the work I have to do. Hopefully if I get the strength to tell her she’ll be able to forgive me but I can’t see either happening. | |
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posted by: thegirldf on Nov 13, 2006 at 9:36am
User Level:
Drunk Orgasm Machine
| Have you ever? | | I am so so so sorry bman...i hope she will be understanding. I do think you should tell her- Im sure it wold be hard to go on for years and not tell her. I hope it all works out! | |
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posted by: bobvman on Nov 13, 2006 at 9:56am
 User Level:
soused scallywag
| Have you ever? | Have done it several times. What a great sexual experience!!! the strange sex and passion are indescribable. I am in the process of looking for another adventure :) | |
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posted by: Grannit on Nov 13, 2006 at 10:04am
User Level:
Bad Ass Drunk
| Have you ever? | | bman - I really do know where you’re at right now - and you sound like a responsible guy. That makes it even tougher. You will know what the right thing to do is for you. In the end you have to live with yourself for the rest of your life. I found that I just couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror - but that’s just me. | |
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posted by: Grannit on Nov 13, 2006 at 10:06am
User Level:
Bad Ass Drunk
| Have you ever? | | bobvman - how involved are you with your current partner right now? | |
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posted by: bobvman on Nov 13, 2006 at 10:24am
User Level:
soused scallywag
| Have you ever? | We have a great relationship but she is not what I’d call great in the sack. She has gotten less and lees interested over time. | |
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posted by: Grannit on Nov 13, 2006 at 10:52am
User Level:
Bad Ass Drunk
| Have you ever? | | So this is purely about sex, and not falling in love with anyone else? | |
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posted by: bobvman on Nov 13, 2006 at 10:58am
User Level:
soused scallywag
| Have you ever? | Purely about sex. I am not interested in leaving her. | |
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posted by: Grannit on Nov 13, 2006 at 11:07am
User Level:
Bad Ass Drunk
| Have you ever? | | How would she feel if she knew? | |
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posted by: mwayner69 on Nov 13, 2006 at 1:47pm
 User Level:
clever rogue
| Have you ever? | Never Have, Never Will. | |
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posted by: jerome on Nov 13, 2006 at 1:54pm
 User Level:
loquacious guzzler
| Have you ever? | now what if you were accused of cheating on a daily basis but never have, and have never givin your so a reason to not trust you? | |
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posted by: Grannit on Nov 13, 2006 at 2:07pm
User Level:
Bad Ass Drunk
| Have you ever? | | jerome, I’d say your s.o. had some serious trust issues and should probably seek professional help. | |
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posted by: bobvman on Nov 14, 2006 at 4:34am
User Level:
soused scallywag
| Have you ever? | | She would probably dump me in a heartbeat | |
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posted by: icancu on Nov 14, 2006 at 8:15am
User Level:
verbose vagabond
| Have you ever? | | I’m along the lines with vodka_buzz. I have cheated and will again if the opportunity arises but the other party must understand I will never leave my SO. Just what really is loyal, or faithful. I will never leave my SO to me that’s loyal. I’m very cautious because of the AIDS and Herpes so cuz of that and that alone I would have to know the other person very well, well enough to trust them. | |
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posted by: famousde on Nov 14, 2006 at 8:17am
| Have you ever? | | If thoughts are cheating - then I’m fucked | |
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posted by: Grannit on Nov 14, 2006 at 8:24am
User Level:
Bad Ass Drunk
| Have you ever? | de, I don’t think anyone would say that thinking about cheating is cheating.... otherwise we’re getting into an Orwellian world....
icancu - what do you think you wife would define as "loyal and faithful"?
Vodka_buzz - somehow I missed your post up there - and I totally agree with you that for many people, the ability to love more than one is natural, and frowned-upon by society. It’s what people do about it that matters.
I know I sometimes come over as preachy about stuff like this, and I don’t mean to - everyone has to find their own way through life, and deal with the consequences of their actions. I think everyone has a different idea of what respect, faithfulness and love even means.
In the end we all have to look at ourselves in the mirror and see what we are. As long as we are happy with that.... | |
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posted by: MT_Lightning on Mar 10, 2008 at 10:23pm
User Level:
Plowed Scrivener
| Have you ever? | he gives me all I want. No reason to cheat
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